Get Yourself Unhooked
A lot of people look back on their high school and college days with affection and maybe even a sense of loss. Life seemed simpler and freer back then, and in many respects it was. Your approach to time was more casual. You could throw yourself completely into something new and fascinating and still have time for friends, sports and hobbies. Time and possibilities seemed unlimited.
It’s a reality of life that as we get deeper into adulthood, there are more demands made on us, and each one is like another “hook” in you; another commitment, obligation, or item in the schedule. Collect enough hooks in you and it can easily start to feel that you are losing control of your own life.
Some of these hooks are there for good reasons such as having a family, paying a mortgage and growing a business. But many of the other hooks that accumulate become nuisances that slow you down unnecessarily.
This is something I’ve always tried to live by, but in recent years I have come to grasp its significance even more. I have always been a driven individual and that often meant taking on a variety of new responsibilities all the time. It was a point of pride for me that no matter how much I was doing I felt I could always do more.
Then I was motivated by a serious challenge—my late wife’s illness— to re-examine things. I started to entrust the people around me with more responsibility. I dropped a number of recurring issues from my agenda entirely. I began to remove the hooks from me.
I felt free again; it was great. I actually ended up being more productive because I was able to focus more of my attention on the things that mattered most. Ever since then, I have carefully scrutinized every new demand on my time before allowing it to get its hooks in me.
My advice is to not wait for a life crisis. Take a good look now at everything that fills your hours and ask yourself what really needs to be there, and what things you can unhook yourself from. Each hook you can remove gives you a little more relief and lets you move forward with more freedom and focus.
Thanks Imtiaz for the insight. These daily nuggets are always so helpful.
John
Love it! You have an amazing mind Imtiaz!
I woke up this morning, with a catch in my throat. It felt like my life was choking me. Thanks for this post. Being someone who juggles a lot and constantly strives for more, I can identify with the sentiments expressed. I still have that catch, but working my way through it. Thanks
Dapo, glad you are working through it… One thing I use daily when making decisions is something Imtiaz taught as well. If you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else. So now, before saying yes to anything that is going to take my time, I first ask; what will I have to say NO to? When I do that, it really humbles me, because many times I’m saying no to my kids, or my wife, or even myself in a sense. What I have found, is that by taking time to do this, my decision are based on my values rather than trying to please others.
Start asking that question consistently and I promise, it will make a positive impact on your life. I wish you luck. I was in your same position a few years ago…
John